The Big Jackpot

This here's Stretch Coyote talkin' at ya.

Well, whattaya know but some old gal in her 80s who won the big lottery has decided she might as well step up to the bar and stake her claim. She only had 60 days to come clean and about 15 days had already passed.

“Do I need this kinda trouble?” she most likely consternated. Just imagine how much mail she’s gonna have to sort through.

This old lady--well, not too old, certainly not too old for me, just in case she’s considerin’ matrimony--anyway, this aging beauty won about $590 million. But reports say she’s gonna take the lump sum cash amount in the neighborhood of $370 million. That’s some kinda highfalutin neighborhood that I could not even get a job mowin’ lawns in anyhow.

I hear tell this were the biggest lottery jackpot ever, more than half a billion greenbacks. Now that there’s a whole lot of buffalo chips to see you through a tough winter or two. Hell, you could get through an entire ice age with that pile.

But on the other hand, can you reckon’ how tough it musta been to say: “OK, I’ll take the cash now and you can keep the other $220 million.”?
Go ahead, try sayin’ it:

“You can keep the other $220 million.”

I can’t even fathom givin’ my favorite waitress at the local Happy Joy Luck donut store more than a buck or two.

Oh yeah, I bought a couple tickets, cause as they say: The only game your losin’ is the game your playin’. Uh, hold on a minute. That can’t be right. I meant to say somethin’ more like: You’ll never win the game if you’re just sittin’ on the sidelines eatin’ a hot dog. (But you’ll still probably have a pretty good time, especially if it’s free cap night.)

The dandy thing about the lottery is that there’s always next week. So until next time, I'm gonna figure out if I am truly capable of sayin’,
“Go ahead and keep that other $220 million.”

That will take a little bit a head scratchin’ to be sure.

~ Stretch Illustration by John Sherffius
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