An Underserved Promotion

This here’s Stretch Coyote talkin’ at ya.

So let me get this straight. This here Mr. McConnell is now leader of the opposition to the president of the most powerful country on Earth?

Kinda reminds me of when I was younger than I am now and workin’ at this fast-food joint called Ribs To Go and gettin’ quite good at basting and all, when the company promoted this slacker named Bobert Robertson (What were his folks smokin’?) to manager after Ronnie-May left to pursue motherhood on account she was just a few weeks away from deliverin’ twins. Kinda funny, now that I think about it, that she was goin’ from deliverin’ ribs to deliverin’ babies.

Anyway however, this guy named Bobert who never mastered the art of cleanin’ out restrooms after closin’ time, let alone how to make RTG’s special Bubbalow Sauce, well, Bobert was promoted to manager just cause he’d managed to work there for three years without gettin’ fired.

In fact, the secret to his longtime employment status was due to his habit of findin’ fault with the other employees and reportin’ it up the chain a’ command to the head office. Now none of us was without our human imperfections, but Bobert blew 'em up like a hot air balloon, liftin' him up to the lofty position of manager at RTG's Nacogdoches location where we all worked, back in Texas.

There’s just somethin’ that’s kinda irritatin’, although not particularly surprisin’, when some guy who does nothin’ but complain gets a big reward for tearin’ other folks down. Meanwhile, the rest of us who were busy tryin’ to perfect the new coconut-butterscotch pork ribs recipe had to be under the thumb of that guy.

Well, we all said, let’s just see what kinda improvements he'll come up with, now that he’s gotta do more than just complain and attack his co-workers.


And the same goes for you too Mr. McConnell.

~ Stretch Illustration by John Sherffius
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